Stormy weather
When I woke up this morning it was cold and raining. The sky was really dark, like it was evening. I soooo wanted to get back under the covers and go back to sleep with Jac and the cats. You know how lovely it is to be warm in bed, listening to the sound of the rain (and even lovelier with your partner and two purry cats)? But I had to finish the chapter, and so I got up. It was probably a good idea I got up anyway, as I had been dreaming about the chapter. I’d been dreaming about shifting paragraphs around. Really. I got up, fed the cats and made myself some breakfast. I can’t think on an empty stomach.
I cooked up some rice vermicelli with fish balls. The vermicelli was out of a packet – they are Thai ones, I think. The vermicelli comes with a sachet of very peppery soup seasoning and a sachet of garlic oil. The fish balls were frozen ones Jac bought for me. I like having a stash of fish balls or pork balls in the freezer to have with instant noodles – very handy for someone like me who likes a bit of protein (no matter how rubbery) with her noodle snacks/lunches.
As I carried my bowl of noodles to the study (I tend to eat at my desk while catching up on forums and blogs and email), the thunder rumbled even louder overhead. Damn damn damn, I’d have to switch the pc off if the storm got too bad. I took a look out of the window, watching for lightning. None so far. As I started eating my breakfast, I caught a flash of lightning in the study window, right next to where I was sitting, right next to the computer and phone socket and power points. That lightning was way way too close – the chapter would have to wait. As I shut down the pc more lightning flashed in the window. I switched everything off and unplugged it all. Having previously lost a dial-up modem, hard drive, motherboard and CD-ROM through a lightning strike that came in via the modem that was plugged into the phone socket, I don’t take chances if I see any lightning.
I finished my noodles and thought about what I should do next. I could go back to bed… ooooooor I could use the time productively and clean my pc. I give the pc a good clean every couple of months or so to get rid of dust bunnies. I clean out the side grille, which gets extremely dusty. I remove the PCI cards (video card, sound card, TV tuner card) and use canned compressed air to blow the dust off them. I unscrew the case fans and CPU fans (that’s four in total) and give them a good clean too – they get amazingly dirty. Of course, the space on the desk where the pc normally sits gets disgustingly dusty too – big BIG dust bunnies there. I like to use the orange-coloured Enjo glove to scoop all the desk dust up. I’ve been meaning to give the pc a clean for a few weeks now, but as you know, I’ve been a little busy. And so, the stormy morning seemed like an ideal time to get this chore done.
I spread out newspaper all over the top of the round formica-topped table in the family room (people who have been to our house and have seen the table will be able to picture this), and grabbed my Philips head screwdriver, a container for screws and the can of compressed air, put on my anti-static wristband and got to work. (The newspaper trick is so I don’t scratch the case on the edges of the table, just in case you’re wondering.) I unplugged all the cables and carefully carried the pc out of the study to the table.
I had only just finished cleaning the grille and the PCI cards when I decided to go for a pee. As I walked through the laundry to get to the loo I thought, “Hmmm it smells like cat pee in here!” And then I thought, “Why do my feet feel wet?” Oh nooooo!
I had walked into what appeared to be a now very-smeared puddle of cat pee. (All together now: EUUUUUUUUUGH!) I don’t know who had an accident or if one of the litter trays were leaking, but there was cat pee on the tiles and I was standing right in the middle of it.
By now Jac was up and in the shower. She had slept a little later than usual and was in a rush getting ready for work. I didn’t want to walk anywhere and spread the pee.
“Jaaaaaaaac,” I called. “Help! There’s cat pee on the floor!”
“So clean it up!” She yelled back, from the shower.
“I stood right in it! I don’t want to walk around with my dirty feet! Are you getting out of the shower soon?”
“Yep…yep…”. She got out of the shower , hair dripping. “Just mop it up,” she said.
“Could you please get the mop and bucket for me? I don’t want to spread the pee everywhere.”
“Yep, hang on.” She was wriggling into her jeans. Once she was dressed, she grabbed the mop and filled the bucket up with soapy water. By now, Billy Lee had wandered into the laundry and was sitting in the doorway, watching.
“But won’t mopping it up just spread the pee around?” I asked.
“No, just mop it up!” she said, picking up the hair brush to do her hair.
“But wouldn’t it be better to grab something to wipe up the pee with, and then mop the floor?”
“Can’t you just follow instructions?!” she yelled. “Just mop it up!”
“Meeeew! Meew! Meeeeew!” Billy Lee said.
“Shut up!” I shouted at Billy Lee. “Seriously, I don’t think mopping it straight up will help.”
“Just mop, will you?! I don’t have time to deal with this now!” now Jac sounded really pissed off.
I started mopping. I am the world’s worst mopper. I know my technique sucks and I make a big wet mess all over the floor. As I mopped, all I could smell was cat pee. And Billy Lee kept mewing. “Shut up!” I screamed. “Shut the fsck up!” She darted away from me and stood in the hallway and mewed.
“I can still smell cat pee!” I said.
“I can’t deal with it now,” Jac said. “I have to go to work. Just leave it and I’ll sort it out when I get home.”
“Meeew,” said Billy Lee.
“Fsck fsck fsck!” I yelled. “Shut up!!!” I had mopped until I was right at the back door and now I went outside to wash my feet. I poured the dirty water from the bucket into the lawn and propped the mop against the upturned bucket. It was still raining. I walked over to the backyard garden tap but I couldn’t get the hose fitting off the tap, which meant I couldn’t use the tap. In the end I went back into the house and tip-toed to the bathroom and washed my feet in the shower. “Meeew,” Billy said again. “Shut UP!” I yelled. By now Pixel was standing in the laundry, wanting to be a part of the action.
I went back to the computer. I knew I was feeling very annoyed and didn’t trust myself with handling computer parts and a can of compressed air. I just sat there. Stupid cat pee, stupid cat. Jac came to say good-bye, but I was so pissed off I told her to get fscked.
I felt bad about that.
By the time I felt calm enough to finish cleaning the pc, the storm had died mostly died down, and by the time I plugged the various bits back in and switched the pc on again, it was almost 10am. But when the pc loaded up all I got was a blue screen. Like the login screen of Windows XP but blue with no login box. I was just starting to freak when I realised I must’ve mixed up the monitor connections – this was the secondary display showing on the primary monitor. I switched on the secondary monitor and yep, there was the login box (which only shows up on the primary display). Phhhhhew. After switching the monitor connections over and logging in I got back into the chapter just after 10am. I made myself a cup of tea and got working.
“I should call Jac and say I’m sorry for this morning”, I thought.
“Mew,” said Billy Lee.