Perverted toasted cheese and tomato sandwich (sorry, just couldn’t resist!)

This morning, a toasted cheese and tomato sandwich was created out of love by one woman for another. And most disturbingly, this blatant act of perversion resulted in pleasure – for the woman who made the sandwich, the joy that comes from cooking something for a loved one; for the woman who ate the sandwich, a few minutes of simple but pure deliciousness. The orangey cheese you see oozing out is the blue cheddar.

Toasted cheese and tomato sandwich

Heheheh. I made this sandwich for Jac’s breakfast this morning. It made me think: how to do other people make toasted cheese and tomato sandwiches (when not using a sandwich maker/jaffle toaster)? I mean in terms of method, not in terms of ingredients/fillings – we make toasted sandwiches with different fillings in our household, but our method is usually the same. I shall now share with you how I made Jac’s toasted sandwich this morning. Feel free to share how you like making yours. I’m interested to know if there is much variation or any cool tricks to know regarding the making of toasted sandwiches. We do have a sandwich maker which we use occasionally, but Jac likes her toasties best when made in the following way.

Perverted Toasted Cheese and Tomato Sandwich

Two slices of bread (varies: in this case, some sort of multi-grain)
Two kinds of cheese (varies: in this case, blue cheddar and plain old cheddar)
One tomato
Cracked black pepper
Sentiments of lesbian (or other non-heterosexual) love*

Jac discovered blue cheddar for the first time in a supermarket during our holiday in Geraldton. I suppose at some point a blue vein cheese and a cheddar cheese got together and made a baby, no doubt through certain acts of perversion. Heheheh. Okay, okay, I’ll stop saying the p word now. Blue cheddar has become one of Jac’s favourite cheeses, anyway.


  1. Cut slices of the two kinds of cheese. How much you use depends on how cheesey you want the sandwich to be. In the case of a sandwich intended for Jac, that’s pretty cheesey.
  2. Slice tomato, then cut each slice into bite-sized pieces. I find that in toasted sandwiches, having the tomato in smaller pieces makes it easier to eat. Whenever I have whole slices of tomato in a sandwich, I always end up inadvertently yanking a whole slice of tomato out from the sandwich in a single bite and burning myself or having to chew on a long piece of tomato skin (a bite of sandwich doesn’t always cleanly detach a bite’s worth of tomato from the entire tomato slice’s skin).
  3. Remove the gooey seed bits from the pieces of tomato. I find that they can make the sandwich really soggy. They are also prone to falling/oozing out and burning whatever body part they happen to touch. Of course, if you aren’t concerned about potential hot tomato injuries, just ignore these last two points. I’ve just been burned too many times, myself!
  4. Place the cheese slices on one slice of bread, then top that with the pieces of tomato.
  5. Crack black pepper to taste over the tomato.
  6. Close the sandwich by placing the other slice of bread on top (yeah, I know, pretty obvious).
  7. Put the whole sandwich on a plate and place in microwave – zap for a minute or so on medium high to get the cheese melting. Don’t overdo it though – you want the cheese to be melty but remain in the sandwich rather than liquified and leaking out of the sandwich.
  8. While sandwich is being microwaved, put a small frying pan on the stove on high-ish heat – just pan, no oil or butter or cooking spray required.
  9. Take microwaved-zapped sandwich and butter the top slice of bread all the way to the edges/corners. Then place the sandwich, buttered side down in the heated pan. Turn the stove’s heat down from high to medium. As the sandwich sizzles in the pan, sitting on its buttered underside, butter the top slice of bread. When sufficiently golden brown on the underside, flip the sandwich to brown the other buttered side. It won’t take very long for the sandwich to be ready because you only need to get both sides nicely toasted and crispy, as you’ve already pre-melted the cheese inside.
  10. When the sandwich is ready, slice into quarters if so desired and present to intended consumer of sandwich with a smile and a kiss. Don’t forget the smile and the kiss!

If you’ve found your way to this post from an external link/source:
Why is this a perverted toasted sandwich?
See this post and then this one.

EDIT: **sigh* The point of this post is not about lesbianism – it’s about making a toasted sandwich for a loved one. And sharing ideas on how to make toasted cheese sandwiches. I’m sorry if anyone’s homophobia caused them to entirely miss the point – there isn’t much I can do about that. All this hate is becoming tiresome.

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