On Saturday morning, we continued our DCX Weekend of Indulgence and caught the train to have breakfast at The Witch’s Cauldron in Subiaco. As soon as we were seated, a waiter brought us each a glass of complimentary homemade lemonade and poured us glasses of water (that was very good; we always like having water to drink, so it saved us having to request it). The lemonade was lovely, icy like a granita, pleasantly sour, with fresh mint. I loved the colour of it too, very Kermit (the thought of which may be quite unappetising to some of you). If you want more after you’ve finished your complimentary glass, you can purchase another for $4.00.

Jac gulped her lemonade down and moved onto a big glass of spicy tomato juice (basically a Virgin Mary, with tabasco and Worchestershire sauce) as I continued to savour the taste of my lemonade, daintily sipping through my straw. A minor annoyance – the little cardboard folders on our table were supposed to contain our menus, but they didn’t. We tried to get the attention of a waiter, any waiter, but catching someone’s eye proved difficult, so we did what we had to do and pinched a menu from an adjacent table. After a while, a waiter came to take our order, and as when this was done he scooped up the menus. At this point we told him that we’d grabbed one from the table next to us because our cardboard folders had been empty. Now we didn’t tell him this in a snipy tone – we were just telling him so 1) he’d know to replace the missing menu on that adjacent table, 2) he’d know to put menus into the two empty cardboard folders that we’d had on our table, rather than put them on some other table, still without menus inside, thereby perpetuating the empty menu surprise for future customers, and 3) perhaps whoever was responsible for menu maintenance/putting them on the tables might want to just check them to avoid little annoyances like this from occurring. Now, it wasn’t a huge deal – like I said, just a little annoyance – and I didn’t expect a gushy apology by any means , which is why we informed him about the missing menus in a friendly tone – but I didn’t really like his response, which came across as cocky and blasé: “Oh yeah, that’s the low fat breakfast menu“. He laughed at his little joke and took off. I snorted, unimpressed. Anyway…

Jac ordered the Eggs Benedict (ham, poached eggs and hollandaise sauce on toasted sour dough buns, $11.50). When she ordered this the waiter asked her if she liked her egg yolks hard or soft, which we thought was great – no assumptions on the chef’s part, and the customer gets his or her eggs done how he or she likes them done (Jac went for soft). She really loved the hollandaise sauce as it was very creamy and lemony in flavour. She didn’t really like the buns because they were rounded (as buns are) and kept moving on the plate as she cut into them (smarty pants may suggest that she should’ve turned them over, but with the ham, sauce and eggs arranged on top, it would’ve just made things more messy). It might have been better if the chef had chopped the top off the buns (you know, like a flat top haircut) so the buns had a flat surface to sit on. Or better still, just served toasted sliced bread, rather than buns. Still, Jac did enjoy her Eggs Benedict.

I ordered the Full Breakfast (sausage, bacon, eggs – I asked for scrambled, grilled tomato, spinach, grilled mushrooms and toast, $14.50). I was very hungry when our food arrived, and very pleased when I saw the pile of goodies on my big plate. But when I saw my scrambled eggs though, I was quite perplexed. To me, these were not scrambled eggs!

Now, don’t get me wrong – the eggs tasted great. And everything else was very good – the bacon contained lean, fat and crispy bits (all the essentials for a satisfying bacony meal), the sausage was basic but tasty and beefy, the toast was perfectly done, still chewy rather than toasted to brittleness/hard crumbiness, and buttered – that butter tasted sooooo good. The spinach was lovely, and the tomato was so sweet and juicy, honestly one of the very best grilled tomatoes I’ve had in a while. The generous serve of mushrooms was deliciously garlicky, really rich in flavour. But the eggs really didn’t seem like scrambled eggs to me! Their flavour was very nice, but to me, their physical appearance and texture just weren’t right. they resembled an omelette more than scrambled eggs.

I did ask about the eggs when we paid, and was assured that they are deliberately served like that: “that’s how we do scrambled eggs here – our chef likes to serve them more done“. There was nothing wrong with the eggs as such – and certainly nothing wrong with all the other Full Breakfast items. The eggs were nice, but I didn’t leave feeling like I’d eaten scrambled eggs – they just didn’t have that creamy, fluffy, softness that is such an essential part of the experience of eating scrambled eggs. It’s just a personal thing, I guess – I’m just particular about scrambled eggs being a certain way. I’m sure plenty of people won’t be fazed by this variation in the least, especially if they are squeamish about runny eggs and like their scrambled eggs well done. I thought it was interesting that they asked if Jac would like her egg yolks hard or soft, but basically they decided for me that my scrambled eggs would be um, brown on top.